A MASTERCLASS WITH DITA VON TEESE
So I arrive, bespoke suited in 3 piece bespoke tweed suit but somewhat damp to 215 Piccadilly formerly the Pigale club now transformed to Cointreau Prive’ to find a few other journo’s flustered by the weather or maybe just the chance to meet the lady of baffling style, beguile and of course burlesque that is Dita Von Teese.
The bar is set, the tongues not yet loosened by conversation and the new and free Citrus and Spice Cocktails.
There is but a handful of people on arrival but I’m told to make space for all the others coming.
I sit and my thumbs move furiously to keep you readers of BSF informed of my every movement through my little Blackberry although I am sure it is Dita’s every gesture you want chronicled by my thumbs.
The music is soft Jazz and candles flicker in little crystal glasses on small prohibition-esq tables with miniature red lamps. The organisers talk through DVT’s every movement. What is agreed, what is contracted and what is not. The amazing PR team glide in, to introduce themselves and remind us of the rules of the day.
I am distracted and do not hear if kissing DVT is prohibited or not? Life is short and kisses are the currency of affection so I contemplate if my brogues will allow me to flee like Hermes who’s statue stands in front of the building we reside in before her bodyguards grab me should I be so bold!
Time ticks slowly…or maybe its just that waiting for a Goddess makes mere mortals feel that way. It did only take G_d 7 days to make the planet…in human years that was in the thousands of days. I now understand that.
The room begins to fill and she glides in. Stunning, small and perfect. Every inch coiffed and perfect. The room falls from chatter to a hush as we all stare and drool begins to pool at the corners of my mouth. Lauren a vision in blood red hair slides up next to me to tell me I am in group 1 and the 1st to enjoy a Cointreau cocktail making class with the lovely Miss Von Teese. Surprisingly the other journo types and bloggers all leave a space next to Dita so I saunter in and take it. Our brilliant barman explains the key ingredients while Dita explains some of the history behind the brand and drink. It seems that in 1875 Edouard Cointreau (son of Edouard-Jean who co-founded the company in 1849) created a liqueur from a perfect balance of bitter and sweet orange peels meticulously selected for their quality. This liqueur became known as triple sec but later when they could not register this name they went with the family name of Cointreau. For those that don’t know Cointreau is an iconic French orange liqueur that can be enjoyed neat over ice or in a number of classic cocktails.
We hang on every word…and even our master mixer is now in awe of her knowledge.
Dita asks me if I was there the night before, when she wowed a celebrity audience at the opening of the Cointreau Privé with one of her exclusive performances. I explain sadly not and that I am available should she like to give me an encore to an audience of one. She smiles and explains that I one of only 2 male bloggers she has met and have nothing in common with the other, Perez Hilton. The barman goes back into showing us the nuances that make a perfect Cointreau Citrus and Spice cocktail. When done we all rush to take a sip from the glass and I go and tell everyone that although the drink is simply lush as a man I can’t see myself ordering it at a bar. Dita stops me there and says,
“ A man as well dressed as you and one who oozes masculinity should never fear any drink, why someone like you would get away with ordering a pink cocktail should you feel fit…say after 1am?”
I can’t breathe and suddenly the drink goes from good to the nectar of the Gods. Maybe it’s the master Mixologist, maybe the intimate speakeasy we are drinking in or maybe it’s just that the global ambassador herself has blessed me drinking it.
We all get a chance to make the cocktail ourselves and it’s just as good. Truly bursting with zesty flavours, the Citrus and Spice combines the iconic French liqueur with fresh orange juice and fresh lemon juice and sliced ginger on crushed ice. She leaves and we are told to follow for our photo perfect finish to a truly memorable night.
She greets me and again starts to flatter me I almost lose my train of thought but I am a professional and ask her about what attracted her to Cointreau. She begins to tell me the history and the style and I am mesmerised! For the first time in my life I am captivated by history. If this girl was on the history channel more nerds would be made then born. I was told I would have 2 min but 15min later we are still chatting and the crowd is growing angry so we stop and pose. I create the usual 10steps away celebrity pose when she say’s come closer in what is almost a middle America drawl and my knees tremble. We stand so close I swear my heartbeat makes her ribs move and as the flash goes I see our future. Well dressed Cointreau Children run free on the hills while we have cocktails at our home designed by Yves Saint Laurent and talk about substance, style and the controversy of calling our children Bra and Corset. Then the warm hand of the PR on my lapel awakes me and I realise it just won’t be. Truth is that perhaps this world is just not ready for our union. Dita and Marilyn Manson was one thing but the two of us would just set the world on fire like Lady Ga Ga and Elton John getting married, way too much glitz and glamour.
** A few words on this must see venue: The Cointreau Privé cocktail lounge and restaurant boasts a number of private salons, co-designed by Dita Von Teese with the decadent décor modelled on her LA home. A seductive schedule of top DJs provided by entertainment partners Jalouse and overseen by Dita herself, will ensure each evening at this deliciously discreet speakeasy is completely unique. This party season, the Cointreau Privé is your one-stop venue for a stylish night in the city.
For a must-have place on the guest list, visit www.cointreauprive.co.uk, where general admission and VIP tickets are available. Full details of the entertainment schedule for the limited three week period can be accessed on the website.
The Cointreau Privé is open for a limited three week period from 30th November until 17th December. To reserve guest list visit www.cointreauprive.co.uk